Many multi-generational households were formed out of necessity as a result of the housing crash in 2008… and again in 2020 as a result of COVID-19. What is interesting is that the majority of those households that came together because of necessity… stayed together by choice.
With longer lifespans the Sandwich Generation is more ‘real’ than ever, with many Baby Boomers and Gen Xers helping both aging parents and adult children and grandchildren. There are many reasons why your aging parents may move in and your adult children may move back to the family home, but when it happens it is important to establish some ground rules so YOU don’t end up wanting to move out!
Establish who pays for what
utilities, mortgage/rent, taxes, insurance, maintenance, recreation, etc
Establish who is responsible for doing what
cooking, cleaning, laundry, household shopping, household maintenance, snow and lawn care, child/elder/pet care, shuttling, scheduling, daily tasks, etc
Establish ‘Time Off’
plan ahead with a schedule allowing for personal time off and private getaway space
Respect different schedules
- Let others know when you are coming and going so they won’t worry
- Don’t ask someone else to do something you aren’t willing to do
- Don’t judge the way another person lives
- Don’t tell someone else how to do their job (i.e. parenting, working, living)
- Respect different schedules
Respect each other
- Identify ‘public’ and ‘private’ spaces, and keep them that way
- Don’t subject your housemates to your tastes in music, scents, friends
- Keep lines of communication open
- Express concerns with love and respect in a timely manner rather than letting them fester
- Seek to solve problems rather than assign blame
- Set regular family council meetings as a time to discuss what is and isn’t working
The bottom line is, approach every aspect of living together with love, respect and understanding… and the desire to make things work.
Sharlene Hensrud, RE/MAX Results – shensrud@homesmsp.com
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