Our human lives are filled with challenges, never-ending transitions similar to seasonal shifts. We may think that we are strong and can handle the challenges all alone. Our 2 1/2 year old granddaughter is in the "I want to do it myself" stage. If it's something a little beyond her skill level, she will finally ask, "Gramma, help me!" Why then, is it so difficult for adults to ask for help?
My thoughts today are about simply asking for help when we need it. Do these thoughts sound familiar? I wouldn't want to bother her with my problem. I don't want to be a burden. He will think I'm weak if I need to ask for help. I'm certain she won't have time to help. I'll be a failure if I can't do it myself.
When those thoughts pop up, stop to ask yourself, How do I know that this is true? The fact is, that these are not true statements, but assumptions you have collected throughout your life. A happy life is all about the connections and relationships that we share and nurture. I help you and you help me. Cooperation. Kindness. Sharing. Isn't this what we learned in kindergarten?
Often, our family and friends are the first ones we think of to ask for help. But, when it is time to call on the assistance of a professional? Planning retirement? ask a financial planner. Income tax time? ask an accountant. Buying or selling a home? ask a realtor. Feeling stuck in your current life or work situation? ask a coach! It's no surprise that the helping professions are available to all of us. It's OK to ask for help, and to hire the right person for the job!
It certainly does take a village to create and maintain a happy life. That's a fact, not an assumption! And, along with asking for help, comes the willingness to offer help to someone else in need. That's a topic for next month!
I leave you with this Hindu Proverb:
"Help another's boat across, and Lo! you own has reached the shore."
Beata Rydeen, MA
Personal & Professional Coach
Coaching on Life, Learning & Leadership